Figure 1. I don’t entirely agree, but whatever.
I want to dislike Blake Shelton but I just CANNOT. Conversely, I just love his big old hammy white boy melon, his bad tattoos and foofy hair and full-on dorky gig on The Voice. I love him though he and Miranda Lambert got divorced, because I still love her too. I love them separately and completely.
And I love him with Gwen Stefani! I want to write RPF about the two of them together because
a) I am bonkers
b) it would totally RULE! Opposites attract! Opposing singers on The Voice! Gwen buys Blake skinny jeans! Blake takes Gwen muddin’ – it practically writes itself.
ANYWAY.
Here’s a song that I know on its face is absolutely dumb, but like Blake Shelton, I can’t stop loving it. It’s like the jolie-laide of songs and I am so magnetized by its grossness & its strange appeal that I could make out with it in the back of Blake’s truck (as one does, of course).
I mean, hear me: it has that crapola country version of “rap” in addition to being called “GONNA.”
Not even lying: the name of the song’s “Gonna.” Just sit with that a minute, will ya?
*waits while everyone absorbs this crucial braindead fact*
*exhales*
*gets totally back into our Now*
Here it is, with the can’t-vouch-for-it video. Maybe you can pray for me, or send me some sort of advice/perspective on my inability to hate Blake Shelton. Meanwhile, my lyric analysis after the jump…
