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Figure 1. My friend Danielle used to drive an orange VW Beetle with a bumper sticker that said this

Figure 1. My friend Danielle used to drive an orange VW Beetle with a bumper sticker that said this

 

“Smoke Break” is probably the dumbest song I’ve heard in a long time. And it’s wildly popular. Usually I like Carrie Underwood, even with her boatloads of gross gold jewelry, so this is a disappointment.

Here’s the video, which, as always, I cannot vouch for; I only add it so you can hear the song itself if you’d like.

Mainly, the lyrics are just total junk. They want to have it all ways. Seem super blue-collar, while not endorsing so-called blue collar vices. What the fuck ever. It’s like a country song that they’d feature in the Weekly Reader for elementary school students who need to learn what country songs typically sound like.

(Okay, that makes no sense. But neither do the lyrics of “Smoke Break.”)

Lyrics, with my comments, after the jump…

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