this pleases me

#LookitThis: Monday, February 29, 2016



Figure 1. This is Tom Hardy…and I can’t remember the point I was going to make…

A brief guide to everything that I am…

Listening To

“Fire Away” by Chris Stapleton


“The Single American Woman” by Rebecca Traister
Bad Houses by Sara Ryan & Carla Speed McNeil
“The Pros & Cons of Having An Herbal Abortion” by Gabby Bess


(Nothing much. You know how it is when you’re watching a show with your partner and it takes scheduling to get you both in the same room, at the same time…)

Wondering About

– Adoption/Transracial adoption. It’s on my mind after reading Shannon Gibney‘s masterful See No Color. I’m wondering about how open adoptions work out for families, because I recall reading that Dan Savage and his partner have an open adoption situation with their son. When did open adoption become “a thing?” Who made that happen?

I’m also interested in reading more narratives about transracial adoptees from Korea; Dr. Sarah Park Dahlen has spoken and written about this specifically and I want to do some more reading about the history of Americans adopting children from Korea.

If you feel like it, let me know what you’re reading/watching/listening to/wondering about, too. I’m always up for knowing about what’s good in your world…

And now: a very special message for readers who are interested in sex stuff!

Everyone else: Class Dismissed!


              Figure 2. Ahem.



The entire month of February we celebrated our Second Annual Write LadyHead Right Flash Fiction Event.

Our last story of the month is by Christa Desir and you can read it here.

The origin story of this event is described here, and you can read all of the 2016 stories here.

The enthusiasm for this event was very delightful to me! Thank you to all the writers who participated and all the readers who reblogged, retweeted, liked or otherwise passed around the stories. We’ll open next February for submissions, but will keep the Tumblr up for year-round enjoyment.



Anatomy of a Country Music Song Part VIII


Figure 1. My friend Danielle used to drive an orange VW Beetle with a bumper sticker that said this

Figure 1. My friend Danielle used to drive an orange VW Beetle with a bumper sticker that said this


Remember how I said that one thing I love about country music is that it’s basically a catalog of white male entitlement and cultural beliefs?


Well, too bad. I said it once. Trust me.

Anyway, that’s not the only thing I love about it, but there is something in me that remains constantly intrigued by notions of “masculinity.” I don’t profess to understand the minds of men just because I understand my rank here in the patriarchy. Patriarchy only tells me about who has power and who doesn’t. It doesn’t tell me what men are thinking, either as individuals or as a group.

If yall find the minds of men transparent and obvious, well, then, lucky for yall. Leave me to my fascination. But I didn’t grow up with brothers or a lot of male cousins. I don’t have boy children. I had a lot of boyfriends, I guess, but they didn’t really give me much access to their inner reflections.

So I contemplate my own sensibilities as a lady and then compare them to dudes. Then I marvel at how we’ve arrived in Our Current Predicament.

This song by Jason Isbell, which was written back when he was a part of Drive-By Truckers, is a really nice find if we’re talking about cultural messaging from fathers to sons. It’s funny and it’s sorrowful (the best things tend to be this mix) and it’s romantical in that the father in the song is speaking much like a honorable-yet-defeated knight.

(Romanticism about their lives and roles in the world seems to be one constant in masculine thinking. I find feminine thinking much more brutally practical, to be honest.)

Not much to make fun of here; much to admire. Lyrics after the jump.



Anatomy of a Country Music Song, Part VII


Figure 1. My friend Danielle used to drive an orange VW Beetle with a bumper sticker that said this

Figure 1. My friend Danielle used to drive an orange VW Beetle with a bumper sticker that said this


Sorry it’s been a while since we did one of these. I’ve not been busy, really. I don’t know what the hell I’ve been doing. Stuff? Who cares.

Anyway, I like Tim McGraw a whole lot, despite his cheesy-ass Jesus Fish Bicep Tattoo. Normally, these posts are about me making fun of country songs and I won’t stop doing that.

But “Red Ragtop” is one of my favorite country songs. No lie; I adore it. The story, the sound, all of it. I know Tim McGraw didn’t write it, but I have to give him snaps for performing it, given the traditional conservatism of Nashville and the whole OH MY GOD ABORTION NOT THAT dust-up that occurred with many radio stations when the song came out. It’s kind of fun for me to imagine Faith Hill being like, “Tim? Honey? Enough with that abortion song; I’m on the cover of Family Circle again, you’re making it awkward…”

Listen to the song here; analysis after the jump…

Read more →

13 Ways of Looking at Sleepy Hollow, “The Weeping Lady”

Figure 1. Nicole Beharie who is pure excellence incarnate

Figure 1. Nicole Beharie who is pure excellence incarnate


1) I LOVE the “unsettled opening” where you’re never sure where you’re being situated in time, usually due to Crane’s strange view of modernity.

2) Trying to hate Katrina but it’s difficult when she does delightful badass moves like summoning ravens to deliver messages

3) the word “bauble” never fails to please me

4) So, I watch television with captions because I have terrible hearing. This drives other people crazy when they watch with me; they say things like, “All I’m doing is staring at the words!” Well, yeah, too bad. Better than not understanding the content entirely. ANYWAY. One of the perks is that you get little ambient commentary like”eerie whooshing” “wind whistling” “muffled shrieking” “water gurgling” “raspy sighing” “hissing” & “sword clanging.”

5) Teenage car make-outs interrupted by horror are the de rigueur plot advancement device which reminds us that furtive sex has CONSEQUENCES. You want to get to third base, kids? It’s gonna cost you.

6) “A missive composed by thumb” and “grimacing lemon caricature” = two more reasons that Ichabod is making me fall in love with him

7) Can the raven become Ichabod’s pet? I think that should become a Thing.

8) Hawley has pretty white bleached teeth for a privateer who lives on a houseboat. Also his houseboat looks like it’s from the Jimmy Buffet for Target collection.

9) That said, I wouldn’t kick Hawley outta bed for eating crackers. Obviously Jenny agrees with me.

10) Over and over I cannot help marveling at Abbie’s abilities and beauty and emotional depths and bravery and constant constant vigilance. I love her with Crane but I also love her all on her own. She’s a delightful heroine in so many ways.

11) I understand that the bloom’s gotta come off the rose for Ichabod re: Katrina but that whole “you weren’t honest with me!” bit was kinda forced. I mean, seriously. I suppose we need to acknowledge that Crane feels tender toward all human life, especially his foxy girl suitors that he shoots down whilst being all sweaty in his open-throated shirts and all, but whatever.

12) Henry is such an old gnarly dickhead. With his little train table miniature set of Sleepy Hollow that he lords over! While I suspect that Abraham might have misgivings about his allegiance with Moloch, given Henry’s trollish appearance, we can be relatively certain that he’ll remain Pure Evil til the end.

13) Dear sweet lord do I love this show! It’s practically BEGGING me to stay inside on a weeknight and wrap up in the couch throw and give me all sorts of Halloweeny horror thrills.




Norman Reedus: An Annotated Filmography


Figure 1. Reedus as loadie

Figure 1. Reedus, consummate loadie



We have Netflix DVD and streaming service, plus HBO  for some unknown reason (we get no other cable channels, premium or not) so I’m using these tools to burrow my way through the filmic oeuvre* of Norman Reedus. I’m nowhere near finished but all good things take time; calm your tits.

Here are my thoughts thus far:

Tough Luck: he’s pretty tits in this one. Total dirtbag loser face. +1 for taking place in a seedy carnival. And that chick he makes out with? Is Patrick Wilson’s hot wife that totally killed on the reaction when people said that Patrick Wilson was too hot to get it on with Lena Dunham in that one episode of Girls.

Floating: Masterful. It’s like the companion film to Sex & Violence in a lot of ways. Even my sister liked it:  “That didn’t totally suck.”

Moscow Chill:  Ehhh. He’s handsome, though. Mostly makes me want to smoke cigarettes.**

Pawn Shop Chronicles: Here he’s a meth dealer who wears a gas mask and a welder’s apron the whole movie so it’s hard to see his face. However, he’s naked under the welder’s apron, so +1 for that.

Reach The Rock: Not worth it. He’s in it for one scene.

Messenger 2: The Scarecrow:  Don’t. I mean, you see him get all sexy a bunch but you’ll pull muscles in your face from cringing at all the “scary” Scarecrow bullshit. Also, he’s supposed to be a farmer. A FARMER. Hand to god.

Meskada: The Reedus is Liquid Sex in this one. Worth it to just watch him moooooove all serpentine-like in his hillbilly flannel shirt. It’s a boring movie, though.

Let The Devil Wear Black: This movie is also boring as hell. Though Reedus plays this sleazy dude who talks about blowjobs for one scene, so +1.

A Crime:  This is really a Harvey Keitel movie. Not that this is bad or anything. The Reedus is highly handsome here, however. +1 for having dogs.

Blade II: Ugh. I can’t get into the Blade franchise. My normal Vampire Kink doesn’t work on that movie. Also, he wears what looks like a hemp necklace. Maybe that’s it?

Hello Herman: Not done with it, but it’s not too bad, really. I mean, how much can one like a school shooting movie? Also, he strokes his chin a lot.


*I don’t know how to pronounce ‘oeuvre’
**this is generally true of all Norman Reedus movies