The Walking Dead Season 4 premiere: 30 Days Without An Accident

The Walking Dead Season 4 premiere: 30 Days Without An Accident

 

Figure 1. Excellent Carol Is Excellent.

Figure 1. Excellent Carol Is Excellent.

 

Feel free to skip if you don’t watch TWD. Which, if you don’t, then I don’t even know, man.

Anyway.

So. Here are my feelings on the matter.

First. Most of the footage from that ep we’d seen in the trailer and teasers. So that was kinda sucky, but whatev.

Second. The Reedus’ hair is AWFUL. It’s so dark and wispy. It’s like, ease off the Just For Men or stop making us believe you wash it with motor oil, Daryl. And if Carol can keep her mop trimmed in the ZA, I don’t think it’s a lot to ask for Detective Dixon to tidy up his mop here and there. It’s way too hipstery and gross right now. Not to say I wouldn’t bone the Reedus in the middle of the road with that “Florence Henderson mop” (credit for that phrase to my girl Rhanon Brodie), but still. It’s hurting my feelings.

Third. Mossy Skin Madwoman In The Forest. What the hell was that? Maybe Rick wants to beat his sword into a ploughshare, but that doesn’t mean he’s lost his Suspicion Gland. Good lord.

Fourth. So, the hug between Beth and Daryl had that cringy-yet-ultimately-okay feeling that you got from watching Harry and Hermione dance in Deathly Hallows II. But, uh Beth? You need to stay away from Uncle Daryl. Alla that is just GROSS. Now, I can read dirty Bethyl fan fiction all I want. Because this is America. But that doesn’t mean I want to actually have it happen. You hear me, Show? Straighten up and fly right.

Figure 2. Stop.

Figure 2. Stop.

 

Fifth. Carol and Michonne make me want to skip around the room because they are so excellent. Which means that I’m nervous they’re gonna get killed.

Sixth. Carl is so going through the pube! With his voice cracking like a transistor radio! Delicious.

Seventh. Glenn, calm your tits already. All you do is zoom around, coming in hot over some damn thing or other. Look, yr wife is a damn supermodel. There are worse things going on, jeez.

Eighth. Here are some answers to things people were asking about. When I say ‘answers’ I mean how I understand things, specifically.

– Herschel has a fake leg now.

– What the Harry Potter kid had could be swine flu, which he sneezed in the water. Or maybe something transmitted by fleas from rats, like typhus?

– Michonne has been out hunting for the dumb Governor.

– Carol has to teach her knife skills stealth-like because maybe Rick’s all hippie and peaceful now? With his no-gun policy? Which is the dumbest thing ever by the way.

– Tyreese is boning Karen. Karen was the only lady who survived the Governor’s little murderous shit-fit at the end of season 3.

– Carol is giving Daryl shit about being all famous among the panty-waist Woodburyians. But that doesn’t mean she’s boning him, either.

Ninth. I really liked this episode. The raining zombies scene was excellent.

Tenth. Snaps to Michonne for telling Rick to shave off that gnarly beard nonsense.

 

 

3 Comments

  • Sarah Ahiers on Oct 15, 2013 Reply

    We, also, were not big fans of Daryl’s hair. Like, trim that up.

    Also, why didn’t they ask, oh I dunno, VETRINARIAN Herschel to look at the sick pig?

    But overall, it was a good episode. They addressed quite a few complaints I had last season (not killing the zombs at the fence) and it makes me excited for the rest of the season

  • Hannah Kincade on Oct 15, 2013 Reply

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who got a little oogie when Beth hugged Daryl.

    But I like Rick all rough and stuff! Not all gunless though, that ish is crazy. Don’t he know it’s the Zombpoc? He traded one crazy for another.

  • Matthew MacNish on Oct 15, 2013 Reply

    I love Michonne like you love Daryl. Okay, maybe not that much, but close.

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