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Adrian’s Rules Part I

Figure 1: Shade Tree Mechanic school in session.

1. No taking baths. Baths are for women and children.

2. Wicker furniture – wicker itself – is a terrible concept and must be disdained, rejected, smashed into matchsticks and set on fire.

3. “No, I’m not gonna put THAT on Facebook. Jesus.”

4. Waiting For Guffman and The Office, e.g. movies/shows where the main entertainment is being made uncomfortable by someone’s awkwardness = unwatchable.

5. Fancy lingerie is a stalling tactic unless it has a laminated manual hanging off the back of it explaining how to remove. Save your money, ladies.

6. No Def Leppard. Ever.

7. Carmelized onions are disgusting.

8. You have a piece of broken machinery? He has a sudden, intense interest.

9. The world is divided into people who break shit and people who fix it.

10. A fresh pack of brand new socks makes the perfect gift.

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