Today my beloved went and bought me tacos for lunch because he is very excellent and because I asked him to do so. As we were eating, we had this discussion:
ADRIAN: Just so you know, there are only two women in the world I would ever leave you for. The first is Kate Winslet. Because, you know, she basically hits all my spots. Plus, she’s super rich. And the second is Chris Hemsworth’s wife. I can’t remember her name. She’s got some weird name.
ME: Miley Cyrus? You’d leave me for Miley Fucking Cyrus?
ADRIAN: No, not her. Though Miley Cyrus looks like a lotta fun. No, Miley’s married to Chris’ brother. This is a different lady. You have to google “Chris Hemsworth Wife Neon Bra” and you’ll see who I mean.
*both shuttle to my office to do so, fight over the search term, who gets to type, etc.*
ME: Mmm, yes. That’s very…nice.
ADRIAN: Isn’t she? *beams*
ME: *nods* Definitely… *turns other direction, eyes roll back into head in puzzlement*
Later, after I go running, I go visit Adrian in the garage where he is building a giant replica of a hairspray can for our nephew’s school production of Hairspray. I ask him if he minds if I blog about his weird marital pronouncement.
ADRIAN: You’d think you’d be flattered to be in such good company. But of course, you being you, that won’t be the part you’ll focus on. And does it even matter if I tell you not to blog about something? Cause you blog about whatever you want, no matter what I say, anyway…
What you WON’T blog about, however? Is that I built this awesome gigantic-size compass that makes perfect fucking circles. And that, sweetheart, is the real story people want to hear.”