Oh, Marriage

Oh, Marriage

Today my beloved went and bought me tacos for lunch because he is very excellent and because I asked him to do so. As we were eating, we had this discussion:

ADRIAN: Just so you know, there are only two women in the world I would ever leave you for. The first is Kate Winslet. Because, you know, she basically hits all my spots. Plus, she’s super rich. And the second is Chris Hemsworth’s wife. I can’t remember her name. She’s got some weird name.

ME: Miley Cyrus? You’d leave me for Miley Fucking Cyrus?

ADRIAN: No, not her. Though Miley Cyrus looks like a lotta fun. No, Miley’s married to Chris’ brother. This is a different lady. You have to google “Chris Hemsworth Wife Neon Bra” and you’ll see who I mean.

*both shuttle to my office to do so, fight over the search term, who gets to type, etc.*

Finally:

Figure 1: Elsa Pataky and her very nice neon-covered boobs

ME: Mmm, yes. That’s very…nice.

ADRIAN: Isn’t she? *beams*

ME: *nods* Definitely… *turns other direction, eyes roll back into head in puzzlement*

***

Later, after I go running, I go visit Adrian in the garage where he is building a giant replica of a hairspray can for our nephew’s school production of Hairspray. I ask him if he minds if I blog about his weird marital pronouncement.

ADRIAN: You’d think you’d be flattered to be in such good company. But of course, you being you, that won’t be the part you’ll focus on. And does it even matter if I tell you not to blog about something? Cause you blog about whatever you want, no matter what I say, anyway…

What you WON’T blog about, however? Is that I built this awesome gigantic-size compass that makes perfect fucking circles. And that, sweetheart, is the real story people want to hear.”

Figure 2: The awesome giant compass masterpiece. Take note, Kate Winslet. And watch yr back, Chris Hemsworth.

6 Comments

  • Carrie Mesrobian on Apr 11, 2013 Reply

    Matilly amuses me more than I share, definitely, but as she gets older, yeah, there’s stuff I feel like she’d rather not be broadcast and publicly noted.

    The truth is that I am the least interesting person in my family. And yet, I have a blog.

  • Elizabeth Fama on Apr 11, 2013 Reply

    My husband has only ever mentioned Andie Macdowell as my hypothetical competition, and it’s because “she’s adorable and exudes niceness in Groundhog Day.” I can live with that.

    It has not escaped my attention that “Adrian” and “Writing YA Fiction” are your two most-used tags. I suspect “Matilda” would round out the top three if you were less fierce about protecting her, which is of course WHY she’s in the real top three. I love your family.

  • erica lorraine scheidt on Apr 11, 2013 Reply

    perfect.

    my gf has something about halle berry. i prefer not to talk about it.

    • Carrie Mesrobian on Apr 11, 2013 Reply

      I figure given my other Tumblr and what not, limiting his list to two women is probably quite generous and restrained of him.

  • Kirstin Cronn-Mills on Apr 11, 2013 Reply

    <3 this post, <3 the compass. Adrian and my dad would have gotten along famously.

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