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I Talk About My Husband A Lot

“Are you writing about me again? Jesus. Can’t you think of anything else to talk about?”

So given that Adrian and I sleep in an arctic attic bedroom, every year he has to put up that saran-wrap/hair dryer business on the windows so we don’t freeze in our sleep. Even with this gimmickry, we are under four quilts, I should note.

ANYWAY. Several months ago I bought these roman shades for our two arctic attic bedroom windows. Because:
a) I love roman shades
b) houses in our neighborhood are built quite close together so
c) I could throw a rock into my neighbor’s upstairs and hit them on the head if
d) I could see them, because they have shades over their windows because they are not animals.

However, Adrian has to haul out his physics degree constantly (whenever faced with some Man Job he doesn’t wanna do) and in the 6 years we’ve lived in the house, has continually lectured me on the science of optics and how nobody could see us all naked and up to no good and to relax already.

Since asking me to understand the properties of light is a tall order, I just waited for the roman shades to go on sale. Then I bought them and they sat around for months because I am legally prohibited from operating power tools. One day, Adrian said, “Honey, if I ever put those shades up, you’ll know I’ve done something very terrible that I feel guilty about.”

Yesterday when he put up the cling-wrap on the arctic attic windows, he also put the roman shades up.

My guess is that the GSX-R  frame with no title or the home hadron collider will be delivered by Fedex any minute now.

7 Comments

  • Syntax and Salt on Nov 19, 2012 Reply

    My husband doesn’t seem to appreciate me talking about him on the internet much. Or me taking pictures of him. So ungrateful. I’m making him mildly famous.

  • Carrie on Nov 15, 2012 Reply

    I feel like I should have graduated from a life that involves the cling wrap/hair dryer method. But alas, we are in some arrested development where I still watch vampire shows and he still thinks he’s going to be a motorcycle stunt driver when he grows up.

  • Kristen Lippert-Martin on Nov 15, 2012 Reply

    Oh, man. We’re all too familiar with the cling film-hair dryer business. The first year we were in our (old, crappy) house, you could actually stand next to the window and your hair would blow back from the freaking breeze. And currently one of my window shades is being held in place with two artfully placed clothes pins. Tres chic!

    Well, better a science geek husband who wants a home hadron collider than an FBI raid looking for anthrax spores, eh?

    I like husband stories. Husbands are funny creatures.

  • Carrie on Nov 14, 2012 Reply

    HA! If only I had such information! Sadly, that would involve my next door neighbors learning more about us than they probably would want to know, which would make the yard-to-yard small talk a bit awkward, yanno?

    Also, I think yr spouse’s job is to always think people want to see you naked. Because if not them, then who, right?

  • Elizabeth Fama on Nov 14, 2012 Reply

    We have a balcony off our bedroom, and my husband used to tease me all the time for closing the floor-to-ceiling shades of the patio doors to undress. “NO ONE is looking at you! No one is that interested in seeing you naked!” The last time he said it, I glanced out the window to find that my retort had serendipitously written itself, and it put an end to his teasing forever. I pointed to the 14-story apartment building across our alley and said, “What about those two teenage girls up there pointing their binoculars at us?”

  • Carrie on Nov 14, 2012 Reply

    I love that picture of you! Also, there weren’t any others I could find, due to we seem to have lost them in the great file migration of 2012.

  • Lab Rat on Nov 14, 2012 Reply

    could you have found a worse picture of me?

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