I Am Somebody’s Mother

I Am Somebody’s Mother

Matilda Anoush, the blessed and singular fruit of my womb, the happy girl who only turns a lovely, shining face to the general public, has put me on a new diet.

Each morning she will extract a pound of flesh through various techniques involving whining, cajoling, crying, screaming, pleading, and making outrageous claims about her various illnesses. She will be a refusenik on the issue of putting on socks. She will lawyerly argue the reasons why she should stay home under my wing until the second coming of Christ, or her senior year of high school, whichever comes first.

If she’s able to be consistent, I will be stunningly svelte just in time for the holidays!


  • Carrie on Oct 11, 2012 Reply

    Ugh, man. That sounds AWFUL.

    I feel so bad for kids. No wine OR caffeine.

  • Kristen Lippert-Martin on Oct 11, 2012 Reply

    My quirky duck 12 yo went off to school crying almost every day of middle school last year. If I could have switched places with her, I would have. But I knew I had to push her out the door every day or her reaction to all things stressful would be to withdraw.

    This year is better and she knows she will get through it. She seems more confident. Often we are dragged kicking and screaming toward new growth. Coping sucks but it must be done.

    Fortunately, when you get older, there is wine.

  • Carrie on Oct 10, 2012 Reply

    Matilda liked school until last year. I think the novelty of it wore off and the fact that she has to sit around with a bunch of Philistines who can’t sit still and make the teacher yell just burns her life right out.

    If I didn’t need the free babysitting, I’d homeschool her. Also, if I could stand to homeschool her, that is. I have no desire to revisit 4th grade fractions or discuss American history. I can hardly blame her for hating it. I feel sorry for her, actually, but it’s probably good for her introvert’s soul to be toughened up, right?

    Don’t answer that.

  • Elizabeth Fama on Oct 10, 2012 Reply

    My 15 year-old has not wanted to go to school a single day in her life. Ah, the years that I pointlessly, repeatedly adjusted “painful” sock seams on the way to school. She’s working like a dog to graduate early, after her junior year, just to get the hell out. The other students love her, despite how elusive and reclusive she is (leave them wanting more?). College will be okay by her, she claims. I’ve noticed from all my kids that if you’re project-oriented rather than peer-oriented, school feels like a huge tax on your time.

  • Carrie on Oct 10, 2012 Reply

    Is this different from the Ledger of Injustices and Wrongs?

    And do they write things in your blood or theirs?

  • Peekoo on Oct 10, 2012 Reply

    I see. Well I think it is very clear that your family now needs a new Three Ring Binder in the house: The Big Book of Complaints and Sorrows

    We have one too, as you can imagine, 2 children require 2 Volumes at LEAST.

Leave Reply