Lace is very upsetting to me on clothing. Except for undies. If it’s near your nethers, then it’s just itchy, I guess, but who wants an ALL OVER LACE DRESS? Fuck you.

Chiffon can kiss my ass.

I hate anything with a drawstring that’s not a pajama. I don’t need extra visual cues drawn to my guts region, thanks. Plus the little tie fucks with the drape of my t-shirt.

What tribe does all this ‘tribal print’ shit come from?

Sorry, but I won’t be tucking anything into anything else that’s elastic, so that the elastic might show. What, are you huffing fumes or something? That shit’s RIDICULOUS. Only skinny tiny people can do that. And everyone knows elastic is for FAT PEOPLE. Jesus, leave us something, some small sartorial crumb, will you?

‘Body Con’ is a gross descriptor for a gross fit.

(This has nothing to do with clothes but I think model body standards have gotten so crazy that it’s no longer a must for models to be beautiful in the face department. It’s like the industry realizes it’s asking too much to find someone with that little body fat who can actually stand up long enough for a photo shoot, so who cares what the head looks like? Weird. Anyway, I’m a bitch. Bitter, bitter bitch. With nothing to wear. Blah.)

Take your neon and piss off.


  • Carrie on Jul 02, 2012 Reply

    Honestly. I even looked at the CHICOS website today. CHICOS. God. They didn’t even have anything vaguely appropriate for my body, never mind taste or color choice. Am I built THAT weird? Am I THAT fussy?

  • Jess on Jul 02, 2012 Reply

    I love you, Carrie.

    Sick Of Shitty Fashion Options But Can’t Go Naked

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