Adrian, Matilda and I spent Easter with his parents. They live in Mankato, where we both grew up.
We stopped at my parents’ house, as they live just along the highway on the way into town. I gave my mother a lily and we chatted and what not. My dad was cutting down trees in the woods. My mom bought Matilda these awesome shorts and a Dragonbreath book.
When I went pee in their bathroom, I leafed through a copy of Einstein and Religion. My dad’s, no doubt. Do you know who the father of Wave Mechanics was? Of course Adrian already knew.*
Then, right before we left for my inlaws’ house, Pablo rolled in some deer shit out in the ravine. Consequently, he smelled horrible the entire weekend. He’d come over to be petted and I’d go for it, then recoil.
The same thing happened for Matilda, except substitute deer shit with boiled eggs.
Once we arrived at my inlaws’ house, Adrian and his dad commenced playing cribbage and smoking cigars.
I gave my mother-in-law a French herb grinder. And a candle. Easter fell on her birthday this year, and her four boys went in on an iPad for her.
All out of nowhere I got allergies. My nose twitched like a bunny’s. Sucky.
Adrian wouldn’t stop fixing things. He was like Tech Support but for everything in the world. Television sound systems, his dad’s motorcycle throttle, my dad’s chain saw starter. Then he went and helped his mother buy the iPad. He seemed to not mind this, but it made me glad for once that I don’t know anything useful.
I felt very sleepy and vaporous. Out of ideas. Lazy. I read a lot.
My one idea? Go to Shopko. Matilly and I bought the following:
flip-flops (for both of us)
birthday-cake-scented candles (for the whole fam)
one copy of Lucky magazine (for me)
one plush blue Angry Bird (for Matilda)
4 shirts (for Matilda)
1 skirt (for Matilda)
1 beef dog bone (for Pablo)
Then we went to Hobby Lobby. Hobby Lobby was kinda cruddy. There is a lot of junk there. Not so much actual hobby-related stuff.
Also, I feel sort of embarrassed to admit I went to a place called “Hobby Lobby.” It sounds kitschy, like when Southerners refer to the “Piggly Wiggly.” I almost don’t believe them that such a place exists.
On Easter Eve, I was up most of the night with a sinus headache.
On Easter Actual, we ate brunch with these two Moldavian computer science students. My mother-in-law made this delicious egg strata and this fancy Easter bread and we talked about Putin’s daughters and I don’t know what. We did Easter puzzles at the table and drank coffee. Then Matilda looked for eggs in the lawn and Pablo got chased by Sergei, one of the Moldavians. Then my nose wouldn’t stop itching so I had to lie down.
Dee dee dee.
Now we’re home. I’ve got Taylor Kitsch on the cover of Men’s Health and The Matilda and The Husband are asleep. We ate Taco Bell because nothing else was open. I’m in my pajamas and all the doors are locked. My dog is a little gross-smelling but I managed to drag the trash/recycling to the curb and put away everyone’s toiletries so tomorrow morning’s not a clusterfuck.
I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me this month. I think this aimless, lovely weekend was just the ticket.
*Schrodinger. The guy with the cat thing. Or the fire place poker? I don’t fucking know. Go look it up if you really care!