Thirteen Ways of Looking At The Vampire Diaries

Thirteen Ways of Looking At The Vampire Diaries

1) I don’t like Stefan. Not Good Stefan. Or Ripper Stefan. The writers give all the good lines to Damon, therefore Damon is the one Elena should be with.

2) (Though I don’t give a shit about Elena, lately. You know what would be awesome? Besides having Elena and Damon take a bath together in Damon’s Bathroom of Superlative Fabulosity? Elena and KLAUS. Zing!)

3) Oh, hi Lexi! I love Lexi! I hope they bring her back.

4) EXCEPT: that ghost gimmick, where they can resurrect dead characters? Changes the stakes for actual character death now.

5) What was up with Alaric’s hair? And they’ve seemed to settle on calling him ‘Ric’ which is a complete abomination. And am I seeing things, or did he have some blond hamburger meat peeping out of his shirt collar last night? MMMMM…blond chest hair…

6) How much does Caroline continue to rule? Last night she was in her full of splendor of kick-assery.

7) And while Bonnie usually bugs, last night I liked her. The spell with her Grams was especially good, I thought.

8) I miss Klaus and his red lollipop lower lip.

9) Klaus’ dumb sister can be gone forever, though. She blows. She looks like she wandered in from the set of 90210 by accident.

10) Where was Tyler? I wanted his hybrid minion bad self to tear it up and he was AWOL. His mother can go hang, however. Why does she have to clog up this show? PARENTS, blah.

11) Where was Mikael-With-A-K last night? Did I miss something?

12) Who says Jeremy can’t bone his ghost girlfriend? It’s not like Bonnie’s a much better choice, the way she’s always flinging herself sacrificially every time there’s some new fatal emergency cropping up.

13) Are there enough _____________ in this show?
a) Official Town Founders Events
b) rentable dungeons
c) creepy caves with shocking secrets
d) magical devices and jewelry
e) instances of Damon getting impaled

2 Comments

  • Carrie on Nov 01, 2011 Reply

    THERE’S NO STORY IN HOW IT’S MADE.

    AND THE SCORE IS FROM A PORN FILM.

    STOP.

    I’M GOING TO BED.

  • Lab Rat on Nov 01, 2011 Reply

    And you were making fun of me watching How It’s Made?

Leave Reply