On Running

On Running

I had the best run last night.

It wasn’t frying hot.  It was perfect. Still I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it. But I just started out walking and tried not to think about it too much.  You can do almost anything if you don’t think about too much ahead of time.

After about a mile, I realized:  THIS IS GREAT.  I AM SO GREAT.

I was running by all these giant houses where fancy rich people live and I was sure that sometime soon, I would leave my ugly tiny shack and move into one of them (or all of them) and crush the idiot occupants into powder under my bootheel..

I was running and it was beautiful and I was so great.

I made a fist and realized that behind the wall of my knuckles was the comeuppance of my enemies and it would be soon, surely, when they would know my excellent wrath.

I was passed by stupid cars and I shook my fist at the way they sprayed gravel toward me but then I shrugged because…

I AM SO GREAT!  Soon I will not need cars.  I will only run to where I need to go!  And everything else I need will be delivered to me!  Whee!

There was sweat everywhere. There was the sound of my feet, distant. There was the music raging in my ears. There was satisfaction in my soon-to-be reign over everything I saw or might see.


I will never again eat potato chips.  I will never again read books about romantical vampires.  I will never again purchase US magazine or Lady Gaga songs off iTunes.  I will never again wake up late. I will never again disappoint people. Everything will be better now (I AM SO GREAT).

When it was almost over, I thought, Don’t stop. This is so great. Couldn’t you keep going?

Then I answered myself: You are so great. This can happen again tomorrow, and every night after that.

And, then, the sweat dripping everywhere, I walked back home.

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