Geoff Herbach’s Stupid Fast, Ctd.

Geoff Herbach’s Stupid Fast, Ctd.

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Honestly.  This book is so full of excellence.  Run out to the bookstore and buy it NOW.

It’s like he wrote it for me.  Let us count the ways:

1)  FOOTBALL!  You guys, football is actually complicated and full of strategy.  It’s not just a sport for brainless entitled date rapists like I thought. You must use all levels of skill and speed and strength in crazed, unearthly bursts.  I know this because of Friday Night Lights, which is the best television show in world history.  Proven scientific fact.

2)  Boy Narrator!  Enough with the mopey girl narrators!  Let’s get the guys reading already!

3)  Boy Narrator Named Felton Reinstein!  Come on – top that name.  You just can’t.

4)  Boy Narrator Named Felton Reinstein With Curly Hair!  I love this for obvious reasons.

5)  Paper route!  How much do I love the idea of kids doing paper routes?  Remember in the olden times when adults didn’t do the paper routes, but it was some punk boy, who would show up from time to time in daylight doing his ‘collecting,’ the Ye Olde Way of getting paid?  Can you believe the newspaper used to be run that way?  With their invoicing department on the backs of juvenile boys?  Also, Felton delivers the newspaper on his bike.  With his girlfriend. Who he is giving a ‘buck’ on his bike. Remember that shit?

6)  Hippie mom that insists sons call her ‘Jerri’ who has depression and drinking problem.  Which reminded me of the Jerri Peters character in The Late Great Me, an old YA book about teen alcoholism, in which Jerri Peters drinks scotch with milk in the bathtub.  Clearly you are an alcoholic if you drink scotch with milk in the bathtub.  That is wrong on so many levels, not just mixologically.

7)  Piano playing brother and girlfriend!  I am interested in piano stuff lately, because that’s my latest book research topic.  I have seven million books on my desk about pianos and Horowitz and the historical evolution of the piano and also, there is a piano in my office and one million years ago I played the piano.  Also, The Piano is like the best dirty movie EVAR.  So – THE PIANO.  Pushing another of my buttons!

8)  Amazing narrative voice!  Okay, that sounds boring, but it’s the main reason I loved this book.  I just can’t describe how well done this was.  The voice of Felton just transports you into his life and his mind and it’s funny and it’s sad and it’s neurotic and it’s bizarre and it’s delicious.  It makes me jealous, you guys, to read such good writing, to feel so seamlessly inserted into a life.  But it’s the feeling I always hope to get when I pick up a book and why I’m insisting you get a copy and check it out.

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